Mindfulness is a wonderful technique. In therapeutic circles, it is very much in fashion, and an enormous amount of research has been done on it, showing that regular practise significantly reduces fatigue and depression, hypertension, stress and anxiety, the perception of pain, fear and anger; and that it also significantly increases a sense of both physical and psychological wellbeing, sense of oneness and connection, empathy, focus and concentration, and improves the quality of our relationships.

For maintaining general health and quality of life, it seems to be every bit as important as exercise and our five-a-day.

However, in a therapeutic context, it is generally taught with a positive exclusion of spirituality to avoid alienating those who have had negative religious experiences, and in deference to our predominantly secular society.

While this is understandable, I think there has been a tendency to throw the baby out with the bath-water. Studies show that certain qualities traditionally cultivated within a religious context are good for both our psychological and physical health. Those of us who have a disposition for forgiveness have an increased resilience to stress and greater mental and physical health (Journal of Health Psychology, 2014, doi: 10.1177/1359105314544132). Compassion and gratitude have similar health benefits.

Consciously developing these traits, and consciously expressing and directing them towards ourselves as well as others, can greatly improve our mindfulness practice.

When we’re ruled by our fear, everyday life can feel a bit like walking a tightrope over a bottomless pit. It’s a hell of a balancing act. And it’s absolutely exhausting; it takes up so much energy, so much mental focus.

But often the advice we get given is to push through our fear. We’re told that the more we do that, the easier it will become – basically because we will have anaesthetised ourselves to, or dissociated from, those painful feelings.

This may work to a certain extent. We may achieve whatever it is that we were fearful of doing. But we haven’t actually dealt with the emotion of fear, meaning that when another scary situation arises, we are no better able to handle our feelings.

A more sophisticated and mindful approach, is to get to know and understand your fear, and to develop a compassionate and non-judgemental relationship with it. When you do this, through meditation or contemplation, you may find that the fear has something valuable to teach you – about yourself or the situation within which you find yourself, making your judgement more refined and your subsequent actions better adapted to your goals. You may also find the fear transforming into a more comfortable emotion, once it’s been heard and attended to.

Pushing through your fear cuts you off from yourself and from your own inner wisdom. Attending to your fear with loving kindness and an open mind, gives you access to your deep knowing.