If you’ve experienced the trauma of cancer, now may be the time to start looking forward to getting your life back to normality.  Finding a sympathetic experienced counsellor based locally in Surrey can be a great support as you may find that you need to make adjustments following changes to your body and your feelings.  Both you and those closest to you may need reassurance to understand what you have been through and to find ways of coping with any emotional stress.

Physical Symptoms

The effect of drugs and surgery to your body may have left more than physical scars.  It may be that you need time to regain trust in your body.  There may be obvious physical symptoms such as scarring from surgery or hair loss following chemotherapy.  Whether you are male or female, these changes to your body can have a significant impact on your self-esteem.  Counselling can help by giving you the opportunity to talk through your feelings.

Effect on your Family

When a loved one in our family experiences cancer, it can affect others as well as the sufferer.  In particular children can be highly upset by the experience.  Children are very perceptive; even if you try to hide what is going on, they are often aware that something is wrong.  They may be scared, even if your cancer has been treated.  Family counselling can help children to feel secure and more importantly understand what has happened.

Self-Esteem Issues

If you have experienced cancer, you may be finding it difficult to come to terms with changes to your appearance; perhaps even to the extent that you may be feeling symptoms of withdrawal and depression.  Talking through your emotions and anxieties with a qualified and experienced counsellor can give you comfort in the knowledge that how you are feeling is entirely understandable.

Focusing on the Future

Once you have successfully finished your treatment, talking with a counsellor can help you to focus on the future.  You will need to decide how and when to continue with parts of your life that may have been put on hold during your treatment, or which elements of your life you want to completely re-fashion.

Types of Counselling

There are different types of counselling that will help you and your loved ones following cancer.  These may depend on a number of issues.  It’s also very important that you are comfortable with your chosen counsellor.  Finding a locally accredited HGI counselling practitioner in Surrey will help you with any feelings or concerns that you may have.  Some people like one-to-one counselling, others find that group counselling therapy can be a real comfort.  Listening to the experiences of others may be really beneficial.  As with any therapy though, it may not be suitable for everyone.  It’s important that you explore the possible options and make the counselling work for you.

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult and harrowing experiences to cope with in life.  Bereavement can affect people in any number of ways.

If you’re in Surrey, local specialist bereavement counselling can help you to discover coping mechanisms and gain reassurance following the loss of a loved one.  After a loss you may experience several stages of bereavement, such as denial, anger, wishing it could be otherwise, depression, and acceptance. Being able to talk through  whatever you’re feeling and experiencing with a bereavement counsellor, and to be heard without judgement or criticism can be enormously healing. Your counsellor is there to help guide you to the coping mechanisms that will deal with your individual situation.

It’s important to be kind to yourself.  Some people may find that it’s easy to move on, however others may find it more of a struggle to carry on with life and find inner peace.  Bereavement counselling will gently help to guide you following your loss.  There are five stages of bereavement that most people experience. Sometimes, people move through them sequentially, and others may skip a stage, then return to an earlier stage before moving forward again; it is different for everyone.  An experienced counsellor will help you to recognise how bereavement is affecting your life and show you ways to deal with your feelings.

1.      Denial

Even if you know that someone is incredibly poorly and close to the end of their life, it can be difficult to prepare yourself for their death.  The shock that can be experienced after the loss of a loved one can have a huge impact on your life and your family and is totally understandable.

2.      Anger

When you experience the loss of someone very close to you, your pain and grief may be felt can be felt in many different ways, both emotionally and physically.  This will be entirely individual, often with different family members experiencing different emotions. Some people may cry for days, some may become completely withdrawn, and many will have strong feelings of anger to manage.

3.      Bargaining – wishing it were otherwise

So much can happen so quickly in the days, weeks, and months before your loved one dies. There are often many decisions and adjustments to be made (sometimes very quickly), emotions can be high, and thinking not always at its sharpest. However, in the time after your loved one’s death, there can be all too much time for reflection, and it’s very easy to say to yourself: “if only we had sought a second opinion…”, “if only the doctor had…”, if only the doctor hadn’t…, “if only I had said…” Whether you’ve lost a lifelong partner or someone not quite so close, the loss of that relationship is certain to have left a void in your life.  As you deal with the emotions following their loss, you are likely to find that you may need to find ways to adjust.  This is all perfectly normal, albeit incredibly unsettling.  Talking through your feelings with a counsellor can be very therapeutic; helping you to explore how you’re feeling and how to deal with your emotions.

4.      Depression

People who have been bereaved often find that they are so upset that they can’t sleep, or can’t get out of bed in the mornings, that they lose all motivation to look after themselves or others. Whilst depression can be a natural part of grief, it can be worrying and you may find it helpful to talk these feelings through with an independent counsellor who is able to reassure you and help you move through this stage of bereavement.

5.      Acceptance

If you have just lost a loved one, the idea of life going on as normal may seem a far-off thought.  Your loved one will always remain a part of you, but over time you will find that your life grows around your memories, that you find some inner calm despite your grief, and are able to move forward in your life.