Successful people dream up a vision. From this, they can create a goal towards which they aspire. But, in order to turn the vision into reality, the dreaming - or fantasising - must stop. A more dynamic mindset is required. Fantasies of success tend to lead to inactivity, and so low performance. Positive expectation, on [...]
It was the belief of Carl Jung, that our neuroses were in direct proportion to our inability to face our emotional pain. It follows that, in order to heal and find peace, we need to open our hearts to the reality of our lives; to face our hurt with acceptance and compassion. And doing this [...]
Self-Worth After the recent events in France, I have been struck by the importance of encouraging within ourselves and each other the recognition of our own, and others', self-worth. I believe that it is only with a full appreciation of our innate value that we can resist being intimidated by aggressive behaviour evolving out of [...]
Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain said that "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." And, in my experience of counselling people who are coming to terms with the end of their life, I would judge that he was spot-on. [...]
Teaching your children to master their emotions is one of the best gifts you can give them. Emotional intelligence is a far more reliable predictor of fulfilling achievement, balance, and contentment in life than either intellectual intelligence or material advantage. Of course, one of the best ways of teaching, and one of the hardest, is [...]
We all understand reward motivation, don't we? People get bonuses at work, win trophies in sport, get presents when they're nice. And it seems to work. Doesn't it? Well, no not always or, indeed, often. Research has shown that extrinsic motivation is apt to: encourage short-term thinking, become addictive (meaning that we come to [...]
Are you good at looking after others, or at knowing what would be good for someone else? It's often so much easier than looking after yourself, isn't it? Taking time to be mindful, and to notice where you get stuck in being good to yourself, where it gets uncomfortable, can be an enlightening experience. And [...]
I often see people who feel regret when they think of their past; feel, perhaps, that they've wasted months or years in a certain mind-set, not been as pro-active as they now wish they had been. And yet are they taking account of all that might be going on underneath the surface? One person's time-wasting, [...]
Are your dreams more about running away, away, avoiding, hiding; or are they about embracing, commitment, passion, and love? It's more psychologically healthy to move towards something, than to try to retreat, even if that something is challenging, or painful. Moving forwards to achieve what we want, rather than to avoid what we don't, is [...]
We all find times in our lives when there are more challenges than positives. Although we have inbuilt coping mechanisms to handle these tough times, sometimes we need some extra support to rediscover how best to use them. At times like this it may be well worthwhile consulting an experienced counsellor in Surrey. They will be [...]
Any parent of a teenager will recognise the challenges that are frequently experienced as children grow into young adults. You may have been fortunate in not having had heated arguments so far, but if you have,this is only a natural behaviour that arises from boundaries being pushed and young people asserting themselves. There may be many [...]
If you’ve experienced the trauma of cancer, now may be the time to start looking forward to getting your life back to normality. Finding a sympathetic experienced counsellor based locally in Surrey can be a great support as you may find that you need to make adjustments following changes to your body and your feelings. Both [...]