Facing Your Fear

When we're ruled by our fear, everyday life can feel a bit like walking a tightrope over a bottomless pit. It's a hell of a balancing act. And it's absolutely exhausting; it takes up so much energy, so much mental focus. But often the advice we get given is to push through our fear. [...]

Enhancing Your Life-Energy

What proportion of your life do you spend engaged in activities that are life-enhancing? You know the ones. The kind that, when you’ve finished, you’re fizzing with energy and joy, ready to laugh and love, walking on air. Is half your day spent doing things like that? The whole of your day, none of [...]

Optimistic Thinking versus Fantasy

Successful people dream up a vision. From this, they can create a goal towards which they aspire. But, in order to turn the vision into reality, the dreaming - or fantasising - must stop. A more dynamic mindset is required. Fantasies of success tend to lead to inactivity, and so low performance. Positive expectation, on [...]

Healing Neurosis

It was the belief of Carl Jung, that our neuroses were in direct proportion to our inability to face our emotional pain. It follows that, in order to heal and find peace, we need to open our hearts to the reality of our lives; to face our hurt with acceptance and compassion. And doing this [...]

Self-Worth: A Foundational Value for Freedom

Self-Worth After the recent events in France, I have been struck by the importance of encouraging within ourselves and each other the recognition of our own, and others', self-worth. I believe that it is only with a full appreciation of our innate value that we can resist being intimidated by aggressive behaviour evolving out of [...]

The Journey to Self-Fulfilment

Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain said that "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." And, in my experience of counselling people who are coming to terms with the end of their life, I would judge that he was spot-on. [...]

Parenting: How to be an Emotional Coach

Teaching your children to master their emotions is one of the best gifts you can give them. Emotional intelligence is a far more reliable predictor of fulfilling achievement, balance, and contentment in life than either intellectual intelligence or material advantage. Of course, one of the best ways of teaching, and one of the hardest, is [...]

Parenting: financial rewards to children?

We all understand reward motivation, don't we? People get bonuses at work, win trophies in sport, get presents when they're nice. And it seems to work. Doesn't it? Well, no not always or, indeed, often. Research has shown that extrinsic motivation is apt to: encourage short-term thinking, become addictive (meaning that we come to [...]

Uncomfortable to take care of yourself?

Are you good at looking after others, or at knowing what would be good for someone else? It's often so much easier than looking after yourself, isn't it? Taking time to be mindful, and to notice where you get stuck in being good to yourself, where it gets uncomfortable, can be an enlightening experience. And [...]

Can you ever really waste time?

I often see people who feel regret when they think of their past; feel, perhaps, that they've wasted months or years in a certain mind-set, not been as pro-active as they now wish they had been. And yet are they taking account of all that might be going on underneath the surface? One person's time-wasting, [...]

Do you have the right kind of dreams?

Are your dreams more about running away, away, avoiding, hiding; or are they about embracing, commitment, passion, and love? It's more psychologically healthy to move towards something, than to try to retreat, even if that something is challenging, or painful. Moving forwards to achieve what we want, rather than to avoid what we don't, is [...]

Motivational Quotes

Sometimes, during hard times, all it takes is a little inspiration to help us through. I hope you enjoy this selection of motivational quotes. You may be surprised how transforming it is to keep one or two of your favourites in the forefront of your mind. "One does not discover new lands without consenting to [...]